Peri Menopause and Menopause

Peri Menopause and Menopause are subjects that a lot of people don’t like to talk about.

However, I feel they should be talked about all the time as most women will go through these at some point in their lives. Living through it can be very very challenging never mind adding horses to the mix!

My experience was awful and I’m sure I share that with a lot of ladies. At the beginning I had hot flushes, sleepless nights, night sweats, brain fog, palpitations, weight gain, mood swings, some so low that I didn’t want to carry on living, loss of interest in the horses, couldn’t bare to be with anyone and I didn’t know how to help myself. A downward spiral that I could not get out of.

Now one ‘friend’ told me to pull myself together which I’m sure she lived to regret when she found herself in the same place!

So what can we do?? Well I got started on HRT and to be blunt, it saved my life. I felt better almost immediately mood wise. However I couldn’t sleep and this was making my life a living hell. For four years I took pills to help me sleep and then as I became qualified in hypnosis, I made myself a sleep recording and used it every day for over a week and then at as I felt I needed it going forward.

Wow it was a game changer and I still use the exercises in it now when I wake in the night. This recording is FREE to download on my website for anyone who might need it.

My good friend was struggling with hot flushes as she couldn’t take HRT so I made a hypnosis recording for those too and that is also on the website.

So how does it affect us as horse riders? My experience is that you lose quite a bit of confidence and then you start to beat yourself up about not being able to do what you once could, you decide that you’re not good enough so why bother having them, you might as well sell them to someone who can ride and go and hide in your hole.

You may decide that you are not worthy of them and they are wasted and therefore you may as well give up because your life is over anyway. You probably decide to ride and then decide not to and cry or want to cry all the time. What’s the point in it all……

So how can we help ourselves?

Well at lot of ladies get HRT but some don’t or can’t for certain reasons. You need to learn to be kind to yourself and acknowledge what is happening to you. It is not your fault you feel like this and many many others are going through the same as you, even though you feel like you are the only one.

If you’re having a bad day, then let yourself have a bad day and see what you can do to help yourself.

Meditation is a very good tool, hypnosis, taking a walk in the countryside, trying to be in the now and listening to what’s going on around you, sitting and letting the feelings move through you and seeing yourself letting them go and float off, having a coffee and a quiet moment, breathing exercises are proven to work.

Try taking in a breath through your nose for the count of four, holding it for seven and then breathing out through your mouth for eight. Do this for at least 30 seconds.

You need time to learn to live with it all. Know those feelings are coming and how to help yourself when they arrive, I’ve had to learn that what I did riding wise 30 years ago is probably not going to happen again, given that I probably won’t ever find a horse as lovely as my heart horses ‘Tilly, Millie and Moo’. I have realised that I have started to appreciate and be grateful for a lot more in my life and the fact that I did actually do these things and have these amazing horses and experiences. I have learnt that I need the right horse for me right now.

I have put my warmblood out of loan, she’s off to the RI and hopefully HOYS this year with my younger friend! I have realised that I now want a quieter life and don’t want the drama of a top class competition horse. I like the fact that there is only one 4 O’Clock in my day!!!

Please comment, post or let me know if you are going through this and how it’s affected you and how you are coping. The more we share our experiences the more we can help others and that’s what I’m here for!

For FREE hypnosis recordings to help please go to my shop page.